A personal piece by Rochelle Weinstein:
Let’s Use
Empathy and Kindness. Not Judgment and Ridicule.
Remembering
my childhood in Miami, I recall passing a private note to my middle school best
friend detailing my latest crush. As I slipped it across the floor, a classmate
intercepted the note, reading my private musings with a cheeky grin on his
face. My loyal friend grabbed the note from his hand, quickly ripping it into
shreds. The secret was gone, the evidence contained. I could live with the
glare of one classmate. An abstract confession left to billow in the breeze.
Not so for
today’s youth. Flimsy notes are obsolete, and intimate details are shared on digital
devices, powerful carriers of destruction. And the worst part? The oversharing
of explicit content is not regulated or monitored. What would our childhoods
look like in the age of digital media? A confession no longer crumbled in the
trash, but widespread amongst so-called friends and strangers. Whether it be a
stolen kiss, an experimentation in sexuality, or a private conversation,
today’s youth are using their phones and computers as a stream of
consciousness, sharing detailed accounts of their lives for all the world to
see. And while the ease of social media makes spontaneous sharing both possible
and accessible, these freedoms can come with a price.
In my latest
novel, Somebody’s Daughter, we see
the far-reaching effects of social media sharing gone wrong. As parents, we believe
it will never happen to our children. We’re doing the best we can with the best
of intentions, careful to pass down valuable life lessons, but the reality is
this: it can happen to any of us. Understanding the dynamic facing today’s
teens requires returning to our childhoods and understanding our own history. Imagine
that moment in time you drank too much, how you hooked up with a boy you
thought you loved and trusted, the cringe-worthy days when you didn’t quite fit
into your PE shorts. Now imagine the evidence being shared with your entire
school, the eyes you must face each morning in what is supposed to be a safe,
nurturing environment. Or worse, your
private, personal moment being shared with millions of people on the Internet.
Hurts, right? Humiliating? Guaranteed.
The impetus
for writing Somebody’s Daughter came
to me for several reasons. The obvious was to shed light on the growing
epidemic of suggestive online sharing and how technology is a vehicle for bullying.
But there was something more to this story that tugged deep inside my heart. As
I’ve raised twin sons (now 18), I’ve witnessed how scandalous stories ripe with
spectacle shoot through our communities inviting criticism and ridicule. I’ve
been guilty of the naive “It would never
happen to my child” attitude and quietly judged parents for their child’s
mistakes. I wrote Somebody’s Daughter
to illustrate my and others’ complete lack of compassion for a compulsive habit
that none of us truly understand. As adults, we didn’t grow up with this level
of scrutiny, and children and teens are too young to understand the dangers and
repercussions. Kids mess up, they make mistakes, and unfortunately, the first
ones to point fingers and judge are the people closest to them—the tribes that
are supposed to hold their hands and lift them up.
Now imagine
again your indiscretions at twelve or thirteen being captured on the Internet,
your innocent conversations, your private musings. Imagine being powerless to
stop its reach, as though there’s a monster lurking around every corner waiting
to pounce. Imagine the helplessness, the
humility, the powerlessness. I’ve often stated that social media’s greatest
strengths are its greatest weaknesses. With accessibility comes lack of
privacy. With community comes overexposure. With rapid-fire technology comes no
take backs.
No one is
immune to the dangers associated with online oversharing. As parents, we do all
we can to ensure our children heed our lessons, but we won’t always be able to
save them. If the unfortunate occurs, let’s all try to be more compassionate
and understanding. It could’ve been you at fourteen. Your grand mishap on
display for all to see. Wouldn’t you want those around you to be a little
kinder?
Rochelle's amazing new book, Somebody's Daughter releases TODAY!
I highly recommend it to all, especially those with children.
Link to Purchase
Emma and Bobby Ross enjoy a charmed life on the shores of Miami Beach. They are a model family with a successful business, an uncomplicated marriage, and two blessedly typical twin daughters, Zoe and Lily. They are established members of a tight-knit community.
Then, on the night of the girls’ fifteenth birthday party, they learn of Zoe’s heartbreaking mistake—a private and humiliating indiscretion that goes viral and thrusts her and her family into the center of a shocking public scandal.
As the family’s core is shattered by disgrace, judgment, and retribution, the fallout takes its toll. But for Emma, the shame runs deeper. Her daughter’s reckless behavior has stirred memories of her own secrets that could break a marriage, a family, and friendships forever.
Then, on the night of the girls’ fifteenth birthday party, they learn of Zoe’s heartbreaking mistake—a private and humiliating indiscretion that goes viral and thrusts her and her family into the center of a shocking public scandal.
As the family’s core is shattered by disgrace, judgment, and retribution, the fallout takes its toll. But for Emma, the shame runs deeper. Her daughter’s reckless behavior has stirred memories of her own secrets that could break a marriage, a family, and friendships forever.
About Rochelle
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