Friday, April 28, 2017

Review - Motherhood Martyrdom and Costco Runs by Whitney Dineen

Join bestselling romantic comedy author, Whitney Dineen, as she discovers the three Es of parenting:
• Exhilarating—when you first discover you’re pregnant.
• Exhausting—when you realize you’ll most likely never sleep again--like EVER.
• Explosive—OMG these kids spew from both ends!
And that’s just the beginning. Whitney shares the ridiculous highs and excruciating lows of her catapult into motherhood. Enjoy the ride as this new mom vows to give up profanity while falling in love with… you guessed it, Costco. Be careful, because if you’re anything like Whitney, you may just pee a little.
Motherhood Martyrdom & Costco Runs takes the reader on a roller coaster of emotions as Whitney plummets into postpartum depression, desperately tries to get her kids to stop yodeling in public restrooms, and comes to terms with the fact she’ll never quite be queen of her own kingdom. Get ready to laugh, cry, cheer, and pat yourself on the back for the sake of mommies everywhere. And while you’re at it, stop by Costco for a case of toilet paper and a Very Berry Sundae. You won’t regret it! 


My Thoughts 
Where do I begin, seriously this book is hilarious!  I can't stop agreeing with Whitney and I can't stop laughing to myself!  I mean seriously if I was in public and people saw me they would think that I have lost my mind!
First and foremost I have never been to Costco, well I did go in the door when one opened near me years ago, but when I honestly realized that it was similar to BJs and I had to buy a membership, I just turned around and left.
But after reading Whitney's accounts of the all great and powerful Oz that is Costco, I may have to take a trip over there again soon in the near future!
I would be remiss if I didn't mention some of the parts that almost had me peeing my pants they were so funny.  (But I will not talk about ALL of them because you need to personally enjoy all that is Whitney's most hilarious book yet in my mind!)
I loath the days that my older children run around the house yelling the word penis or vagina.  It seriously makes me cringe because I do not want to have that talk with my 7 year old yet so I plug my ears with my fingers and say la la la and hope that it ends just as quickly as it began.  So far so good!
Whitney's description of the summer of the wiener seriously had me laughing so hard I was crying!  Just wait till you get to read all about it!
Or the moment when she thanks her mother for all the hell she put her through as a child from the vomit to the diarrhea to fevers and the list goes on and on.  I couldn't agree more with Whitney when she states that any mother who "deals with stuff shooting out both ends of a miserably sick child deserves a sash, tiara and monetary reward!"  Amen!
The reaction to Legos is priceless!  I curse those little pieces of pure plastic evil each and every day that my 7 year old starts a new set and I secretly suck some into the vacuum cleaner after I have warned him more times then I can count to pick each and every piece up!
BIG BLUE BALLS!  HAHA (just wait and read!)
Or the tampon launching at said Costco check out guys head?  Oh my - I would have crawled in the fetal position under the conveyor belt and hid. LOL
Her husband makes me giggle "swearing offends his delicate sensibilities, body parts are never to be discussed by their proper names and butt cleavage is enough to make him take off running for the hills" - I can only imagine the two of them in the same house and the discussions that are had.
Lastly, I love the girls conversations, priceless!
This book will have you laughing and cringing (depending on the conversation) from beginning to end!

Drink Selection
Due to the amazing spring day we are experiencing today, I am going to go with a delish glass of Watermelon Jalapeno Margarita - just as spicy as this book!
Rating 
Laugh out loud funny all the way and totally worth a 4 wine glass rating!